I’m incapable of being happy by myself. Like I don’t need a significant other to make me happy but I always need another person, whether it be a friend or a stranger. I rely on people to make me content. Idk that’s why I’m so clingy
Is it weird that I don’t think it makes a difference being dead or alive?
I don’t mean that I’m being suicidal, I’m just saying if I was to get into a tragic car crash or die from a disease, I would be completely okay with it.
I’d be totally fine if the doctor told me I had 2 months left to live.
Idk what this means to be honest…maybe everyone feels this way too?
I told my friend this and she said that I needed to have more faith and believe in something.
Today is the last day I’m doing this. I promise that after today, I’ll stop. I’m scared of all the side effects but I’m also scared of being fat and such.
No more cereal. No more sweets. Because those are basically the things that make me do this.
I have to make a weekly eating schedule so I won’t eat as much.
This week has been hell considering it’s been spring break so I have so much more time to sit at home and eat everything.
I’m excited for this weekend because I promised myself I won’t eat much and since I’m shopping basically the whole weekend, I won’t have time to eat.
I feel fatter already after eating what I just ate.
i’m so excited for holiday candy grams to be on sale at school. i love surprising people with stuff like this because it makes their day sorta. like imagine in the middle of homeroom, the person delivering the candy grams arrive and you just sit there knowing you’re not getting any. And all of the sudden, he/she calls your name and you think, “What? Who would send me a candy gram?” and it’s just a nice surprise and all.
it makes people’s days i think
i had a really really good dinner tonight so i ate a lot. so like i forced myself to throw up and shit and after, when i went back downstairs, my mom was suspicious ish. like you know after you throw up, your eyes are sorta watery. yeah i think she saw that and she like kept giving me these weird looks….
but it’s not like she has proof or whatever lol
i honestly knew this would happen. honestly, it’s nobody’s fault but my own. fuck my life so much right now. i want a reason to be upset and mad with her so bad but i don’t have a valid one. i wish she never told me so i could be 100% mad at her for not telling me.
even though she told me, it’s still bad…like i’m obviously not gonna tell her that because it’d make me seem like such a bitch.
okay i just need it to be summer now so i can stay at home until university and make completely new friends. even skipping to second semester would be fine with me because i don’t have to interact with anyone from school since i have first 2 periods off.